At this current intersection of my life, I’m faced with a truth I have been hoping to avoid. A truth that had come to light at the corner of my move to SCAD and a new job.
I was born and raised in Miami, where I was taught the difference between izquierda and right, darkness y luz, amor and hate. My friends, like myself, learned our family’s native language as we learned our home’s language. There was never a cruelness between my friends, classmates, or teachers in my youth about knowing two languages fluently.
Sometimes I would get a surprised gasp from an older woman surprised that I know Spanish or a nod of approval from a man, no older than my own father, as I explain how I was born in Miami but was taught Spanish by my parents.
It’s a concept that I was aware of, parents to first generation kids not teaching them their native language. At this moment, I haven’t understood why. Why refuse to share a part of themselves, to rip away a rich culture before they even get to experience it?
I am lucky to have parents who were willing to take the time and teach me their language, their culture and customs that I cherish every day. But, why, as I’m beginning to see, is that so wrong in some people’s eyes?
Why is it so wrong that my parents scarified their lives coming to this country to give my siblings and I a better life and future?
Why is it so wrong that they chose not to stay in their native country and raise their kids over there, where for a fact, wouldn’t have received as many opportunities to thrive as we would have if my parents chose to stay?
Why is it wrong that I wasn’t born in my parent’s native country?
I’m caught in a hurricane of being seen as lesser by my own Spanish speaking counterparts.
A smile of pity when I say that I was taught my language by my parents, and that I can understand Spanish perfectly, just that I struggle to have my mind catch up with my mouth.
It makes me sick. I am as capable as my Spanish-speaking counterpart, even more, if I wanted to brag.
I’ve had to translate many documents, school, work, doctor, government, from English to Spanish and back to English from as early as I can remember. Translating on the spot at places where they had no one who spoke Spanish present and the gloom I felt knowing that there would be times when I couldn’t be there to help my parents.
dreamscape 